I recently attended a workshop about Enduring Power Of Attorney, Orders for Administration and yet to be approved Enduring Power of Guardianship and Advanced Health Directives (Living Wills). They are currently trying to pass the Bill through the Western Australian State Government.Basically, a Living Will is a written request of any medical directives you wish to have made on your behalf if you are considered to not be able to make sound decisions for yourself. For example if you want to choose not to be resuscitated in certain situations. A Living Will can also encompass lifestyle decisions and presumably you would be able to leave clear instructions on how you would like your funeral conducted.Until this Act is passed though what one can do is discuss your wishes with family, write it all down clearly, get your GP to sign it to say that you were of sound mind when writing your wishes and consider someone to be an Enduring Power of Attorney for you. If you elect someone for this role, discuss your wishes with him or her so that they know what you want. If you want to have something that is very specific and complex it would be advised to seek Legal advice and have a Solicitor write up a Living Will for you, keeping in mind the expense involved.For more information I would recommend attending a workshop that is offered by the Fremantle Community Legal Service. They also offer workshops on Wills.
For more information about Power of Attorney and Wills check out the Department of Justice website. www.justice.wa.gov.au
Showing posts with label do-it-yourself funerals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label do-it-yourself funerals. Show all posts
Sunday
CEREMONIES
I recently attended friends Memorial Service. My friend had struggled with Breast Cancer for over 3 years and graciously and courageously faced death. The Memorial Service was written and created by her before she died. It was so beautiful. She had a partner and two young daughters and the service was designed for them. It was held in a park and a friend conducted the service, we honored and remembered her. There was a photo board full of photos. We were asked to write a blessing for her, which was then attached to a balloon and released. We were also asked to write positive statements for her children which were placed on a wishing tree and which would then be given to each of her girls for their memory boxes. There was no coffin as she had chosen to have an unaccompanied cremation. The Memorial Service was then followed by a Wake.It was truly a celebration of her life and we were all given a postcard with a collage of photos of her to take home for our own Memory boxes.I wanted to share this story as it highlights some simple things that we can do to create a beautiful Ceremony. It was a very child friendly service and inclusive of the children which was wonderful.I wasn’t sure what to do as a gift for the family so my daughter and I made little gift bags for the two girls with little worry dolls, candles, tea light lanterns, a rose quartz gemstone and a beautiful angel to place somewhere special.
BOOK REVIEW
DEALING CREATIVELY WITH DEATH. A MANUAL OF DEATH EDUCATION AND SIMPLE BURIAL. By Ernest Morgan.
This book gives a simple overview of the death process. It covers topics such as death education, living with dying, simple burial and cremation, death ceremonies and other related topics. It is a good resource as it lists references to other books and relevant organizations. It also has sample ceremonies. It is however American based information.
This book gives a simple overview of the death process. It covers topics such as death education, living with dying, simple burial and cremation, death ceremonies and other related topics. It is a good resource as it lists references to other books and relevant organizations. It also has sample ceremonies. It is however American based information.
Friday
SINGLE FUNERAL PERMIT
METROPOLITAN CEMETERIES BOARD WA.
I have recently been in touch with the Fremantle Cemetery to find out what is required to undertake your own funeral. If you choose to do-it-yourself you need to apply for a SINGLE FUNERAL PERMIT with the Metropolitan Cemeteries Board whose main office is at Karrakatta Cemetery Perth. They have a kit which has all of the information regarding what documentation is required, what requirements they want met, as well as step-by-step instructions, price lists and contact lists for medical referees, coffin makers and the relevant Government Departments. I obtained my kit from Fremantle Cemetery and I would think that all the metropolitan cemeteries would have it available. I would contact them first just to be sure though.The kit outlines the requirements for both Burials and Cremations. There appears to be more paperwork involved when doing a cremation.Below are links to some of the Agencies that you tend to deal with.
Application for Permit to Cremate-Health Department of WA.
Death Registration Paper (Death Certificate)- Registrar General, Births,Deaths,Marriages.
Coroners Certificate (if Coronal Inquiry)- Coroner's Court.
I have recently been in touch with the Fremantle Cemetery to find out what is required to undertake your own funeral. If you choose to do-it-yourself you need to apply for a SINGLE FUNERAL PERMIT with the Metropolitan Cemeteries Board whose main office is at Karrakatta Cemetery Perth. They have a kit which has all of the information regarding what documentation is required, what requirements they want met, as well as step-by-step instructions, price lists and contact lists for medical referees, coffin makers and the relevant Government Departments. I obtained my kit from Fremantle Cemetery and I would think that all the metropolitan cemeteries would have it available. I would contact them first just to be sure though.The kit outlines the requirements for both Burials and Cremations. There appears to be more paperwork involved when doing a cremation.Below are links to some of the Agencies that you tend to deal with.
Application for Permit to Cremate-Health Department of WA.
Death Registration Paper (Death Certificate)- Registrar General, Births,Deaths,Marriages.
Coroners Certificate (if Coronal Inquiry)- Coroner's Court.
Thursday
BOOK REVIEW
FUNERAL RIGHTS.WHAT THE 'DEATH-CARE'INDUSTRY DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW.By Robert Larkins.
I have just finished this book and it is the best resource I have found so far. Firstly, it is relevant to Australia and gives great insight into the workings of the Funeral sector and its history.It outlines the practical steps one needs to consider when organising and making decisions around what sort of funeral you would like and how to care for the deceased.Included in this are step-by-step actions one needs to take when doing a Do-it-yourself funeral.There are lots of personal accounts and resource lists and so much more.Coming from a legal background Robert presents all the relevant legal information and authorities that one needs to deal with in regards to death and your Funeral rights.I would highly recommend this book.
I have just finished this book and it is the best resource I have found so far. Firstly, it is relevant to Australia and gives great insight into the workings of the Funeral sector and its history.It outlines the practical steps one needs to consider when organising and making decisions around what sort of funeral you would like and how to care for the deceased.Included in this are step-by-step actions one needs to take when doing a Do-it-yourself funeral.There are lots of personal accounts and resource lists and so much more.Coming from a legal background Robert presents all the relevant legal information and authorities that one needs to deal with in regards to death and your Funeral rights.I would highly recommend this book.
Monday
PERSONAL EXPERIENCES PART TWO.
Leteishas Death.
Leteisha was my second born child who was birthed at home, in a water tub, in the early hours of the morning. It was a quick and powerful birth and my first successful home water birth. She was a chubby cheeked cherub of a baby who had so many adventures in her short life and seemed to just want to explore the world and all it had to offer at a lightening pace. One day,when she was 8 months old, I put her to bed after a busy day at the swimming pool. It had been a typical Perth scorcher of a summers day. She seemed to be sleeping longer than normal and when I went to check on her I could not find her where I had left her on the bed. My mind could not make sense of what was going on and then I noticed her little foot sticking out from in between the bed and wall. She was very hot and not breathing. I rang 000 while my husband did CPR. It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to arrive. When they did I paced in circles like I had when in labour with her. They worked on her but I knew she was dead. I looked at my husband and said "she's dead!" but the ambulance guys snapped at me that she was just not breathing. They took her in the ambulance and I remember thinking "why bother!she's dead".
But of course you are in shock and just go with what is happening. The first person I called was my midwife and my aunt, one to take me to the hospital, the other to care for my son who had slept through this whole scenario.
Once at the hospital Leteisha had been put on life support and the doctor came to spell out the facts. I did not know whether I wanted to shit or spue it was so overwhelming. I ended up collapsing in the fetal position on the floor. The rest of the night was spent with Leteisha, so small, in a bed, with tubes hanging off her everywhere. I continually put rescue remedy on her forehead and told her that if she needed to go to do so.
The next day decisions had to be made about taking her off the life support. I knew that once that had been done that I wanted to take her body home. I begged and pleaded and my Aunt spoke to the Coronial officer who gave us the permission. Infant deaths are immediately deemed to have a Coronial Enquiry, in Australia. There was no way I wanted to leave my baby in the hospital.
The machines were turned off and we took hand and foot prints and locks of hair as mementos. This was offered by the hospital. We wrapped her up and we walked out of the hospital and went home.
My wonderful friends had been and created a beautiful space for us. I bathed with Leteisha, as I had done every day, one last time. I oiled her body and combed her hair and cut her finger nails. All the things that I felt I needed to do as a mother. I felt so connected to all of the women, everywhere, in every time gone by, who had tended to their loved ones and prepared their bodies in this way. It was such a healing and powerful experience. We then wrapped her up again and returned her body to the hospital.
Then the grieving process began....the intense pain so deep, the shock, denial, grief, anger all at once. Yet the most highest transcendental highs, where there was symbolism and metaphors and connections and joy and laughter and light. A place where my creativity would just pour out of me...it was so surreal. I was so raw...I couldn't wear clothes, my body odour was extreme. At night I would put up photos and paint and slowly created an alter in memory of Leteisha, in the living room.
The community support started to kick in and we were inundated with flowers and food and offers of help. We decided to have a small closed funeral service with just our closest friends and family members. I ordered a white casket that had been the least treated because I wanted to paint it. I did not know of what is really available. The casket came and smelt so chemically, I smudged and oiled it for days to get rid of the smell. I invited the family over to decorate the coffin. We all put our hand prints on the side and the kids put stickers all over it. The night before it was to be delivered to the funeral parlour I stayed up painting the lid. I felt so connected to her spirit and the end result was beautiful. The family had all found it to be a powerful experience and not what they had anticipated. I felt that it was a really healthy way for the children to be involved and help make the experience real for them.
At the funeral we all stood in a circle and my midwife was the celebrant. We asked everyone to share and everyone spoke of Leteisha. We then placed flowers onto the coffin before going out into the gardens and releasing butterflies. The butterfly had become her symbol and is very symbolic of life cycles and transformation. We then had a memorial service in the park for the wider community a week later. In hindsight I perhaps would have done things differently but I feel I did well considering what information I had available to me at the time. I am so grateful that I had the right support and a wonderful community that cared for me and were activists on my behalf.
Leteisha was my second born child who was birthed at home, in a water tub, in the early hours of the morning. It was a quick and powerful birth and my first successful home water birth. She was a chubby cheeked cherub of a baby who had so many adventures in her short life and seemed to just want to explore the world and all it had to offer at a lightening pace. One day,when she was 8 months old, I put her to bed after a busy day at the swimming pool. It had been a typical Perth scorcher of a summers day. She seemed to be sleeping longer than normal and when I went to check on her I could not find her where I had left her on the bed. My mind could not make sense of what was going on and then I noticed her little foot sticking out from in between the bed and wall. She was very hot and not breathing. I rang 000 while my husband did CPR. It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to arrive. When they did I paced in circles like I had when in labour with her. They worked on her but I knew she was dead. I looked at my husband and said "she's dead!" but the ambulance guys snapped at me that she was just not breathing. They took her in the ambulance and I remember thinking "why bother!she's dead".
But of course you are in shock and just go with what is happening. The first person I called was my midwife and my aunt, one to take me to the hospital, the other to care for my son who had slept through this whole scenario.
Once at the hospital Leteisha had been put on life support and the doctor came to spell out the facts. I did not know whether I wanted to shit or spue it was so overwhelming. I ended up collapsing in the fetal position on the floor. The rest of the night was spent with Leteisha, so small, in a bed, with tubes hanging off her everywhere. I continually put rescue remedy on her forehead and told her that if she needed to go to do so.
The next day decisions had to be made about taking her off the life support. I knew that once that had been done that I wanted to take her body home. I begged and pleaded and my Aunt spoke to the Coronial officer who gave us the permission. Infant deaths are immediately deemed to have a Coronial Enquiry, in Australia. There was no way I wanted to leave my baby in the hospital.
The machines were turned off and we took hand and foot prints and locks of hair as mementos. This was offered by the hospital. We wrapped her up and we walked out of the hospital and went home.
My wonderful friends had been and created a beautiful space for us. I bathed with Leteisha, as I had done every day, one last time. I oiled her body and combed her hair and cut her finger nails. All the things that I felt I needed to do as a mother. I felt so connected to all of the women, everywhere, in every time gone by, who had tended to their loved ones and prepared their bodies in this way. It was such a healing and powerful experience. We then wrapped her up again and returned her body to the hospital.
Then the grieving process began....the intense pain so deep, the shock, denial, grief, anger all at once. Yet the most highest transcendental highs, where there was symbolism and metaphors and connections and joy and laughter and light. A place where my creativity would just pour out of me...it was so surreal. I was so raw...I couldn't wear clothes, my body odour was extreme. At night I would put up photos and paint and slowly created an alter in memory of Leteisha, in the living room.
The community support started to kick in and we were inundated with flowers and food and offers of help. We decided to have a small closed funeral service with just our closest friends and family members. I ordered a white casket that had been the least treated because I wanted to paint it. I did not know of what is really available. The casket came and smelt so chemically, I smudged and oiled it for days to get rid of the smell. I invited the family over to decorate the coffin. We all put our hand prints on the side and the kids put stickers all over it. The night before it was to be delivered to the funeral parlour I stayed up painting the lid. I felt so connected to her spirit and the end result was beautiful. The family had all found it to be a powerful experience and not what they had anticipated. I felt that it was a really healthy way for the children to be involved and help make the experience real for them.
At the funeral we all stood in a circle and my midwife was the celebrant. We asked everyone to share and everyone spoke of Leteisha. We then placed flowers onto the coffin before going out into the gardens and releasing butterflies. The butterfly had become her symbol and is very symbolic of life cycles and transformation. We then had a memorial service in the park for the wider community a week later. In hindsight I perhaps would have done things differently but I feel I did well considering what information I had available to me at the time. I am so grateful that I had the right support and a wonderful community that cared for me and were activists on my behalf.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
